Bonzo the Wonder Dog

It is about time I mention Bonzo. After all, this is The Daily Bonzo and you may have been wondering why.

I had wanted a dog from the age of seven. A mother and sister both allergic to fur meant that I had to content myself with frequently borrowing neighbours' dogs and dragging them on reluctant promenades in the absence of their owners. But, undeterred, each and every Christmas I would hope, and even pray, that I would be given a puppy. A series of variously vile and vicious rodents were provided, but these proved to be poor substitutes for a proper pet, a pooch.

My mother assured me throughout my canine-deprived childhood that, once grown up and 'married' I could have as many dogs as I liked. When Iain proposed, I therefore delighted in the thought that now, at last, I would get myself not only a husband but, logically, a dog.

But Iain was against the idea. A 'cat' man by nature, he refused to heed my pleadings. Time to negotiate, I thought. I agreed with Iain that I could be allowed to have a dog, not immediately, not even soon, but at least by the time I would be forty (that, at the time, being 12 years hence!). Now those of you who dare to call me impatient, can read the above and reconsider your verdict - I could wait for as long as it would take!

So quite reasonable of me then to kick up stink when I was still being denied a canine some 13 years on. A full-on campaign plan, taking on reinforcements to my cause, was required. By very good fortune I had, in the intervening years, managed to give birth to a couple of trusty allies in the shape of Georgia and Margot. Between the three of us, over the Summer of 2004, we ground Iain down. It was a hard-won battle and no gracious surrender from him either; but finally, with a cry of 'what does it matter what I think, just get a dog if want to!!' he gave in.

So I did!